


Love Letters I'll Never Send

by sunsource



Category: Poetry - Fandom
Genre: Love, Love Letters, Multi, Poetry, Short Chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-19 10:47:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29873484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsource/pseuds/sunsource
Summary: some words ill never get to say to you ever again. ill write them here, and hopefully, one day, look back with a smile.
Kudos: 5





	1. My Beautiful Frankenstein

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Myself](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myself/gifts).



She laughed, and the scenery behind her  
looked so transparent  
her eyes crinkled in their seams,  
brighter than the memories we once had  
where could it all have gone?  
Perhaps,  
if I had chosen my traits  
and practiced looking  
and reading  
and tracing between the lines  
I would notice,  
her eyes never held stars  
and her mouth carefully practiced  
the mastered art of a woven frown

her heart grew apart,  
in a rather slow,  
creeping manner,  
and tore into two  
equally beautiful pieces;  
one made of sticks,  
the other had been mine.

I'll always love you,  
my beautiful Frankenstein.


	2. Our Love

**Stay - Gracie Abrams**

Our love, it began small,  
as a grape, or plum  
and refused to acknowledge  
that perhaps growing bigger than us  
was not the best choice, was it? 

Our love, it was sparks  
they were blue, and purple  
and pink, too  
and it looked _beautiful_ from afar  
until I realized,  
I was flying with it

Our love, it was breathtaking  
so breathtaking, in fact,  
I began to choke  
and the world around me grew  
smaller, and smaller,  
and soon,   
I'd forgotten who I was

Our love, Logan, was simple

it felt right because it distracted us  
from the fact that it wasn't real.   
I still grow from your heartache  
I still have to learn to breathe my tears away  
You were good to me,  
but I guess, our love wasn't. 


	3. Empty

With delicacy, 

her long, bony fingers touched mine

and i wished we could've danced,

but then with her other, she touched my chest,

and whispered,

"it's hollow, sweetheart."

_-numb_


	4. Chapter 4

My love, it left me a long time ago

it packed its bags and broke our pictures,

and stole my pride and instilled fear

created insecurity in the crevices of our empty walls

my love, when it left,

took everything with it. 

it took my house, it took my breath

it took my patience and virtues

it left me with nothing.

and my love, 

it now forgets to remind me

that i caused it all

_-toxic_


	5. Days

oh, I know it's over

I know I hate you most days,

and I wish we'd never met others

yes, I get that it's all gone

we've been sitting in silence 

for the past two months

and it's a horrid lullaby

some days, I don't even remember you

others, I can't seem to forget your name

and some days, 

days like today,

I seem to miss you more than ever

so much so, really,

that I've convinced myself otherwise

but truly, 

I have no reason to hate you

and no reason to fake the fact

you meant a lot to me,

now it's all just our mess

our love,

hopeless and forever changing.

_-reminder_


	6. Love Letter to l.l.

Hey. 

I'm going to florida in a few months. and

it'll be fun. it'll be awesome. I'm gonna go to the beach and disney world and I will meet new people and ill get to wake up and do yoga to an outstanding sunrise. but im scared. 

what if all my anticipated fun and calm

is ruined by the anxiety of someone that im trying to live without?

when I think about you, my stomach flutters. my gut closes and it feels like theres a lump so big i can barely speak. and when im working out and I think about you, I begin to tear up. But then I blame it on all the hormones and endorphins, like I don't have to do breathing exercises whenever im tempted to call you or reach out to you or let you know how happy i hope you are. I have gone over this and I have gone over everything and I have thought and thought again and I have hated you and I have cried over you, for you, about you, and I have loved you and I have to one day come to peace with one emotion. 

Sadly, though, that day is not today.

And today, I'm writing a letter to settle the small trembles in my mind that

I'm going to florida, pup.

and I hope I don't see you. Because if I do, I don't know how I'll be able to breathe again. 


	7. self-control

I spend hours, and I spend a few more minutes,

thinking of you

of your voice, 

your face,

your reaction if i reached out.

ive never been too good at self-control. matter of fact, your half left mine because of that very reason. i never learnt to say no to things i cant and wont have and its hard.

today, i almost messaged you. 

god, I opened a tab and I was so close to clicking send

but I thought about it.

my past was good,

but if it was sustainable, i wouldnt be in this situation. 

so, ill learn to let go of you.

every living, crying, breathing, torn, amazing, and dead bit of you that is left in me.

ill learn to breathe and close the tab. 


	8. 4 Leaf Clover

You held beautiful green edges,  
an even amount,   
beautifully ignored  
because around you,   
was a horde of many more

sometimes, I'd look for you  
but between the thousands,  
and thousands of flowery greens,  
I could never find you

however,   
I stumbled upon you today  
and I picked you up, and   
you sit in the pocket of my jeans

I've finally found you

I guess I got lucky


	9. Sunset

The sunset is angry with you, 

it believes you don’t give it enough time

the sunset is upset with you,

because you steal it’s fragile colors

every minute, every hour, especially

late at night

and it’s beautiful pale yellows

and deeply set oranges

auburn reds,

contort your wrists

and 

no one begins to see

what a pain it is to wear long sleeves

tell me,

will your corpse steal my night?   
It’s beginning to get dark, and I’m afraid

our world won’t survive. 


End file.
